"Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others.               Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity" ~Pema Chodron~

raia kogan

Raia Kogan MFT

I am a Somatic (body-oriented) Psychotherapist, specializing in relationships, intimacy, and sexuality with adult individuals and couples. I am also a queer, jewish, femme, immigrant, yogi activist.

Working together, you will enter a supportive container where I will remind and guide you to slow down, breathe, reconnect with your body and heart, and get in touch with your inner wisdom.

I work with clients who long for greater connection, passion, intimacy, and self expression in their lives and relationships, but feel limited due to past wounding or trauma. 

In our work together, I will support you in developing increased mindfulness, awareness, self-compassion, and self-care. I believe that this inner work is a foundation for greater intimacy and connection with others in your life.

I work relationally, which means that rather than simply talk about your experiences in relationships, we will actually explore how those tendencies and patterns show up in the therapy relationship. I believe that the experience of a safe, consistent, and loving relationship in psychotherapy can help repair early wounds in relationships and serve as a foundation to learn new ways of relating that support more satisfying and intimate relationships in your life. 

I know from my own experience that intimate relationships are some of the most challenging and rewarding parts of our lives. As a young person, I pursued the path of yoga and meditation deeply, spending periods of time living in spiritual communities and on silent retreats. These experiences brought deep joy and peace to my life and are a foundation of my work with others. At some point, I developed a desire to express the deeper awareness and awakening I felt in meditation in my life more fully, especially in my intimate relationships. I recognized that I needed more skills to be able to do this, which included healing from some early wounds. Fifteen years ago, this path of growth and learning led me to enter graduate school to become a psychotherapist and into many advanced trainings on couples therapy, attachment theory, neuroscience, somatics, trauma, and sexuality. 

I believe that even if you have struggled in the past, you can cultivate relationships with genuine love, trust, emotional intimacy, and sexual passion and that having a supportive therapist in your healing process can make a big difference. 

Contact me for a free 30-minute phone consultation to talk more about how we can work together. 


Education and Trainings


  • Masters in Counseling in Integral Counseling Psychology: California Institute of Integral Counseling 2006-2009

  • Golden Gate Integral Counseling Center year-long traineeship in Transpersonal Psychology 2008-2009

  • Sexual Diversity Training with Santa Cruz Family Services Agency with Akhila Kolestar: 2009-2010

  • New Approaches to Trauma Treatment training with Bessel Van Der Kolk: 2010

  • 60 hour Certified Rape Crisis Counselor training with BAWAR 2010-2011

  • Holos Institute 2 year internship in Ecopsychology 2011-2013

  • Professional Somatic Resourcing training with Bill Bowen: 2012-2013

  • Somatic Couples Therapy workshops with Bill Bowen 2013-2014

  • East Bay Center for Mindful Therapy: 1 year internship in mindfulness based psychotherapy including trainings in Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy and Cultivating Emotional Balance programs 2013-2014

  • Hakomi Weekend trainings in trauma, character structure, and couples therapy

  • Supervision and consultation in Hakomi Method 2013-2015

  • Emotional Focused Couples Therapy Externship with Rebecca Jorgensen 2015

  • Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy Advanced Training in Core Skills 2017 with Sam Jinich and Michelle Gannon

  • Attachment-focused EMDR training with Laurel Parnell levels 1-3 2016

  • Attachment-focused EMDR consultation group with Lizbeth Hamlin 2016

  • Attachment-focused EMDR practice group with Elena Felder and Erika Masak-Goldman

  • CAMFT certified supervisor consultation with Sandy Henry


  • Mount Madonna Center 200 hour teacher training in Classical Ashtanga Yoga 2003

  • Niroga Yoga Teacher training in teaching yoga to at-risk youth 2005

  • Art of Yoga Certification in teaching yoga to teenage girls in Juvenile Hall 2010

  • Trauma Center Certification in Trauma Sensitive Yoga 2010

  • Yoga and Psyche research internship 2012-2014

  • Yoga and Psyche method training with Mariana Caplan 2013-2015


  • Training in Vipassana Meditation at Insight Meditation Society and Spirit Rock 2002-2012

  • Training in Somatic Meditation and Meditating with the Body at Dharma Ocean with Reginald Ray 2008-2016

  • 160 hour training in tantric philosophy and meditation with Christopher Wallis and Mattamayura Institute 2010-2011

  • Heart-Mind training in teaching mindfulness to children and teens 2015


  • Finger Lakes School 1000 training in therapeutic massage 2003-2004

  • Lotus Palm School training in Thai Massage 2004-2010

Professional Affiliations:

  • Bay Area Open Minds

  • ICEEFT (International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy)

  • NCCEFT (Northern California Community for Emotionally Focused Therapy)

  • The Pacific Center (Clinical Supervisor)

  • EMDRIA (International EMDR Association)

  • The Parnell Institute (Attachment-focused EMDR)

  • CAMFT (California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists)